Isabel Spooner-HarveySpooner-Harvey used to make latkes from scratch: grating the potatoes, wringing out their water, frying them over a hot stove.
The effort was gratifying. She had three children in three years, followed by a separation from her husband. For the stay-at- home mother in Madison, Wis., the need to make the holidays special — the gifts, gatherings, the cards, latkes — started to feel like a burden to shake off rather than a joy to bestow.
She will keep her frying pans clean this year and order latkes from the deli when Ms. Spooner-Harvey celebrates Hanukkah. She said that the funniest part is being at the table together. Michelle Janning, a professor of sociology at Whitman College in Walla Walla, Wash, said that while other people aren't immune to the pressure to make holiday magic, mothers feel it most acutely. Besides being socialized to be responsible for the well-being of family, mothers often feel an emotion that Dr. Janning calls imagined future nostalgia, in which they picture their grown-up offspring reminiscing fondly about childhood.