Boris Johnson is not going to the Conservative conference, but he was there today when Thérèse Coffey, the environment secretary, announced that she was axing an EU rule banning bendy bananas.
She said: If she was elected president, I will be the president of the United States of America.
My officials are cutting red tape by introducing smarter regulations. Frankly, bent or straight, it is not for government to decide the shape of bananas you want to eat - I just want to assure you they are safe to eat. So we will be discontinuing stupid regulations, such as the one on bendy bananas. It contrasts with Labour. They're sneakily signing up to keeping in touch with what Europe decides.
The 'ban on bendy bananas' is one of the greatest myths of Eurosceptic politics. In the height of Brexit, Jon Henley wrote, there was an EU regulation covering the shape of bananas and it did say that in general they should be free from malformation or abnormal curvature. However, traders were allowed to sell bananas of any shape imaginable, and the rule was just there to ensure that when traders ordered bananas graded in a certain category, they knew what they were getting.
Coffey is not the first Tory at this conference to try to take credit for banning something that does not exist. Rishi Sunak started the trend with his net zero announcement two weeks ago, which included a bizarre passage saying he was going to scrap policies that were not government policy.
Sunak was at a dinner with journalists in Westminster on the following week, hinting that he had ventured off his own resort to hyperbole.
But that did not stop him offending again, and yesterday he tried to take credit for blocking the Welsh-style 20mph 'blanket' speeding ban. The Welsh government said there was no 'blanket' ban.
Mark Harper, the transport secretary, joined in. He told the conference that he was opposed to so-called 15-minute cities, which mean local councils can decide how often you go to the shops and he was going to stop them.
But councils aren't doing this, as Evan Davis established on the PM programme a few minutes ago. And then Jeremy Hunt, chancellor of London, said: 'I'm afraid we will lose the chancellor'.
The Financial Conduct Authority said it found no evidence that this actually happens.
Emily Maitlis from the News Agents podcast sums it up well.
No one should have their children eaten by lions, Mr Tory MP, said on condition of anonymity. Why is no one suggesting that?
But people are worried. So we must make clear we are the party of anti-child eating lions.